December 2010
Dear Kylee Divine or Lyndon Dakota (their names before I knew they were twins),
This is the first of many letters that I will write to you so get ready!
Let me start by introducing myself, I’m your mom….Amber Nicole Harrell. You mean so much to me because you will be the first person in the world that I can truly say I share a bloodline with. My mom had me young but she chose to give me up. Being adopted, having a child of my own will be one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given me. I was adopted as a baby. My mom, died of lupus a few months after I became a part of the family. But your grandpa has always been there for me and if God wills he will certainly be there for you. He’s married to a another lady but we don’t get along that well but I hope she will love you and be there for you no matter our circumstance. I have a big sister and she is the mother of your boy cousins. When my mom died, she was the one that took care of me even though she was just beginning college. She was about the same age as I am now. I also have a brother and the father of your girl cousins. You have SO MUCH family that I can’t name them all but I know that they will love you and hopefully support me in my decision to be a mom.
Your dad is so excited about you! Sometimes I think a little more excited than me. We started talking as friends a long time ago but finally made things official on November 11, 2010. I never thought we’d take it further but I see now that God felt differently. He is sooooo country! Lol. I love him with everything I have and I know that he will be nothing less than a great father. He has accepted his calling to minister the gospel and what I love most about him is that he loves and respects God just as much as I do. We both made the choice to have sex before marriage and even create a baby….BUT…God has given us both the vision that we will get married and are soulmates. Both of his parents support him and are in his life and he is also very close to his little brother and sister and 2 cousins. So when I say your family is BIG! I mean it.
Your dad hasn’t thrown up in years (eww) and he did so on Thanksgiving. Not to mention, your uncle had a dream about clownfish swimming and his dreams never lead him wrong.
We have no idea how we will tell our parents but we both know they might be disappointed but they will be there for us. I’m a little scared of the new independence we’ll be faced with but please believe it will be all worth it. I made up in my mind that no matter how hard the struggle is I will do everything in my power to make you happy and be a good mommy. RIGHT NOW, dad and I both want girls but my opinion changes each week. No matter what you will be we will love you just the same. I will try and write you as much as I can to document this journey of my first child. Who knows what the future will bring?
All my love,
Mommy J
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